I wanted control. But that inequality was so alien to how I was raised that I felt tremendous guilt about it and never told a soul about my desires. The guilt, however great, never stopped me from fantasizing. If I was going to turn over a new leaf, and try to be open and truly honest with my potential partners, I needed to acknowledge this part of me. Let it out, and learn how to engage it.Suddenly I realized what was so terrifying about being myself. I was petrified about letting the dominant part of me out. What if they thought I was sick. What if they laughed. Worst of all, what if I hurt somebody? Jesus. That would destroy me.But I was stuck on the horns of a dilemma. I couldn't go back to how I was, that way led nowhere, so I could only go forward, but I didn't know how to make a first step.I was contemplating that when Anna called. I hadn't realized it'd gotten so late. I hadn't eaten anything or moved from the table where Jenny sat down hours ago. Anna's suggestion of take. He started pumping, They made love like two jack rabbits in heat, he made 5 more sperm deposits. When the alarm goes off she tells him to stay inside, smiles sultrily and says he's a breeding machine, WOW, 6 deposits in an hour!! She rotates her hips, they kiss tenderly, slowly and deeply, he couldn't last, made another deposit, he apologized, wife said not too, she wanted his sperm. Arthur pulled out, said he's sorry for coming, she said it was her decision, if she gets pregnant, she gets pregnant, it's her doing, don't worry about it! She said let's see how I feel in the morning about taking any more sperm, kisses him, thanks him for being so kind and gentle. She rubs her belly saying I wonder if there's a baby starting, if there is, it was conceived in love!! Kisses him again, pulls him onto her, pulls him inside, they kiss for another 30 minutes, she asked if he wanted to make another deposit? He said only if you want it, she says sure, he came immediately, was super excited!.
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